I just got off the phone with my mother. I got some possibly jarring news.

( I might want a hug )

Just, please, everyone-- tell me I'm freaking about nothing. I am, right? This is nothing?

Have you ever been halfway through a thought only to stop yourself and go, "Woah, woah, woah. Self, what the hell? You know, if you were some stranger on the internet, I'd be tearing you a new one right before posting you on sf_d. Seriously, self, what the fuck?"

I just had two of those in a row. I really need to just focus on ironing.

Winter is fast approaching. Today is proving that. This isn't actually vague, if you understand why winter scares Kelly and I. Maybe this is why I've been GUNG-HO (caps necessary) about Christmas since November 1st. I'm worried about leaving in January, but Kelly will have friends and a capable-caregiving family close by. ...Right?

Got my Yuletide assignment. I was right. It was a stupid idea and I may be fucked royally. Yay, excitement.

This is not just a making-pleasantries conversation, I want answers: How are all of you?

No mimes were harmed in the writing of my last post. Anyway, I stole this from a few people, so GO AT IT:

Give me a pairing and/or a prompt, and I will write you a one sentence ficlet. If I don't know the fandom, I'll make it up.

Minus one gift, Kelly and I have finished shopping for everyone but each other. IN NOVEMBER. I've never done this. I almost always wait until December 23rd.

Speaking of, don't forget to leave a comment on my post if you want a holiday card from me. Seriously, everyone, don't hesitate. I love sending them.

A mime was just murdered across the street from our bedroom window. The cops are here. Real cops, not mime-cops. Don't ask.

Apparently, I can knit. I feel like I'm doing something wrong (shouldn't it have taken longer to ingrain?), but I'm partway through a scarf and it looks good. So maybe not. My fingers hurt, though. We got Kelly some big needles and thicker yarn, and I showed her how to knit. She's having a lot more fun with crocheting. ETSY, HERE WE COME (no, not really, thankfully).

In other news, OHMYGOD, I WANT THIS LIKE BURNING.

I don't know what's with me. This morning I woke up, and despite being awake, I just laid there and stared at the wall. I couldn't get up. I've been bouncing between depression and despair all day. It hasn't been this bad in awhile. It's like I've shut down completely.

I don't know.

I guess I'll just stay up all night tonight so I actually act a little bit useful.

On the plus side, I have the basic idea of knitting (just knitting, not purling or anything). It's just a matter of practice until I don't suck at it. But it was surprisingly easy to pick up.

Fuck you, Fox. I'm not surprised, but all the same.

I've been spending my time making copious amounts of phone calls and just... AHHHH, HOLD MUSIC. It's going to drive me insane.

While out, Kelly and I picked up some yarn, knitting needles, and a book. I'm/we're going to learn how to knit. I AM SO EXCITED, IF MILDLY CONFUSED BY THIS BOOK. We ended up getting a book called Knitting for Preteen Girls or something. Only a little embarrassing.

Seriously, Fox, screw you. SIDEWAYS.

I suppose I should (finally) write Tuesday's NaBloPoMo. Hey, it's still Tuesday for me. Anyway, I said that today's theme would be About Me. Based off of a recent anon comment I received and a discussion I had about food, I bring you a list.

( Things Ruined for Me )

There's probably more, but just... ugh. You know?

Tonight's NaBloPoMo is picspam (my favorite), so I decided to share some of the more intriguing examples of smoke art that I've come across. These are beautiful and, in most cases, unusually haunting. In general, just cool. Smoke art is created through the use of multiple (usually dozens upon dozens) photos of smoke, layered to form one fantastic piece of art.

( This is one of my all-time favorites )

Man, I am nearly at the last hour with this, aren't I? Anyway, with Sunday being poll/discussion day, I might as well get started. This was basically prompted by a recently remembered conversation.

Poll #1482797
Open to: All, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 24

Would you ever be willing to put a loved one into a nursing home?

If applicable, have your parents ever expressed their wishes on the matter?

Basically, what are your thoughts on nursing homes. Obviously some specific ones may be corrupt or inhumane and that is hardly a clear indication of the general. But how do you feel overall? Have you ever worked in a nursing home? Had a close loved one reside in one?

My grandmother was place in a home until her death and it was a horrible experience. A year later, my aunts and uncle decided to hire an in-home nurse rather than make the same mistake with my grandfather. I spent years volunteering in one and it horrified me. My mother, before I was born, was a nurse's aid at a home and it left a very negative impact on her.

What are your thoughts?

Thanks to the brilliant suggestion from Angela, today's NaNoBloPo theme is about travel. It's pretty much a well-known fact that I love to travel, especially to place I've never been. I've live in three different parts of the country (all of which were 800+ miles away from each other) and I am in my element when I'm unfamiliar with my surroundings.

I moved to California almost a year ago-- January 8th, 2009. Until then, I hadn't ever been farther west than the Iowa-Illinois border. I was unfamiliar with hills and mountains. It was an entirely new experience and I love it. I truly do love it here, as much as I may deeply miss IL. And this list has been in my mind for awhile.

( Things that Make Me Glad I Moved to California )

Angela (introductory) is over again. I love hanging out with her and need to possibly kidnap her even more. The funniest thing was when I received a text and realized she was texting me from down the hall. I told Kelly (who was in the bath) over IM. Oh, technology, I love you.

Called my Dad about various Christmas gift ideas. It was a nice chat (I miss him sometimes) and I mentioned that I found a rum-flavored tea yesterday. His response? "Pfft. Like all my tea doesn't end up rum flavored." The fact that it's completely true is the funniest part to me.

I also called my mother's house. She wasn't home, so I got roped into a discussion with Greg. He was extremely sweet, polite, and nice. *shudder* He tried to convince me to save my money and not buy my mother or siblings gifts (stop that people, I want to!). I refused, and he said, "Okay, but you better not get me anything." "...Don't worry, I won't." "You better not!" "Trust me, I won't." "Good!" Kind of funny. Mostly weird when you realize that even if you exclude the history and whatnot, I haven't bought him a single gift since I was ten at the oldest.

Apparently my mother went to the hospital last week. She was having trouble breathing and woke up one morning with a massive lump on her chest. Greg called the hospital and they insisted she immediately come in-- they were worried it was a clot. Turns out she had just coughed so hard she pulled a muscle. They gave her antibiotics for her respiratory infection and she's fine now. I just wish she'd take care of herself.

By the way, I seriously need advice-- Greg mentioned that my mother's been using a coffee mug I gave her as a little girl (it says 'Mom's Mug' on it), but she's worried it's going to break. He suggested I buy her a new mug for Christmas, so she can put that one away, and that I should find another one that says something about "Mom's" on it. Okay, I'll get her a mug, but aren't I kind of way old to be getting her one that says something about how she's my mother? Any other personal/sentimental mug suggestions? So far I'm leaning toward one that says "Hot Moms Club", because lol.

And finally, I've decided I'm totally signing up for the charity drive Holmes for the Holidays. Possibly multiple times. It's a good cause, it's fun... why not?

What's that? It's time for Friday's NaBloPoMo? Well, if you insist...

Today's theme is music-- maybe a recommendation, maybe a critique, maybe just a discussion about what a certain song means to me. This week, I'll be reccing an entire album.

Music for Elevators is an album that was written, produced, and preformed by Anthony Stewart Head and George Sarah. I originally discovered it because of my huge love for Buffy and nearly just-as-huge love for ASH's singing. I then instantly feel in love with the entire album, and I've been regularly listening to it for the past four years.

It's hard to explain the genre, at least for me. There's a bit of a techno feel to it, but not completely. The lyrics lean toward poetic and the arrangements are just amazingly well done. Both Amber Benson and James Marsters are featured on the album, and there is an incredible arrangement of "We Can Work It Out". As big of a Beatles fan as I am, even I love it.

You can find a few sample songs here and here (they're not even my most-liked songs and I still love them. I'm including the lyrics to my favorite song, "The Last Time", too.

( The Last Time )

If you're interested in downloading it, Kelly kindly uploaded the album for me here. Again, highly recommended.

During the early morning of November 1st, our neighbors put up their Christmas lights. They wasted no time and I love them for it. Therefore, it's time for...

HOLIDAY CARDS.

Who wants a card from me? I'm going to be a dork and admit that I look forward to doing this all year, so don't hesitate to ask for one. Seriously, all of you, I'd love it if you'd let me send you a card.

They're always secular/wintery cards, so I hope that's okay. If you want a card, just leave me a comment with your address and all that. Comments are screened. If you think I have your address, err on the side of caution and assume otherwise. If you're international, I don't care, I'll send it anyway.

Come on, everyone! Who wants a card?

Edit: Oh! If any of you have little kids who might like a card of their own (and not be creeped out by a stranger) let me know. I'd just include a "Have a great season!"-type note, maybe a drawing of a stick figure dancing. In case you want to take me up on the offer.

So, who's interested in some black humor? I mean really black and dark. I laughed (which I feel is the important part), so don't feel bad if you do. Just thought I'd warn about the morbidity.

Kelly and I were discussing moustaches and how some will work, while others don't. Both my dad and Greg have moustaches (probably why I can't find them attractive) and the following exchange occurred:

Me: Well, I mean, my dad's moustache is kind of hilarious, but it still works for him. Do you agree?
Kelly: Yeah, it does.
Me: While Greg's just... it doesn't work. it's horrible. It makes him look, like, like a child pedophile or something.
Kelly: *silence* Um, Geena?

When I realized what I said, yes, I laughed. And, to be honest, it felt really good to laugh about that.

Anyway, I signed up for Yuletide. A stupid idea or the stupidest idea?

For tonight's NaBloPoMo, I'll be providing all of you with a recommendation.

I have two favorite places to eat-- one is this cheap sushi place and the other (the important one) Loving Hut, a vegan restaurant. It's a national restaurant, though it hasn't quite hit everywhere yet, and each location has a different menu. And it is the best food I have ever had. I'm not kidding, there hasn't been a single thing I've eaten that I haven't loved. Not just liked, I've completely loved everything.

The food is delicious, made fresh (it's made after you order), and it is just perfect. Sometimes they can be a bit pushy about displaying vegan propaganda, but it's easy enough to ignore.

The site has the various menus, complete with descriptions and photos. Trust me on this. The food is constantly amazing and each meal runs no more than $6. Damn good price, I think.

Everyone that has gone to Loving Hut has loved it. Highly, highly recommended.

So, Wednesday's themes, I've decided, are vids. Just that, vids. Things I think my make you laugh, or entertain you, or interest all of you. So! Let's get started!

( You might appreciate it if I cut this )

And, in case anyone is interested, I found the entirety of Black Books on YouTube. The first episode can be found here. I know that I'm excited.

Man, today has been, for the most part, awesome. I woke up in the bed with no memory of how I got there (again), but beyond that? Just awesome.

I went to pay our rent and clear up a mistake that the office made ($1,100 minus $248.39 does not equal $1,074.20, damn it) and came home to find a package on our porch. It turned out to be a Christmas tree from askingxalice! It's adorable-- two feet tall and it comes with these little light-up ornament bulbs, and it is just amazing.

Then I found out that my book came in at the library and was waiting on hold for me. We picked it up tonight and I am so excited. I don't care if it sucks, it will still be awesome and worth it.

I went to get the mail once we got home, only to find a Halloween card from my mother (she can be so adorable, and the card was incredibly sweet) and a package from Amazon. I wasn't expecting anything, so I was stunned to open it and find the complete series of Sheldon Reynolds' Sherlock Holmes. Last week or so, Amy mentioned that she had the series and she could copy it for me. Instead, she went out and bought it for me. I am floored.

I have impossibly wonderful people in my life. Seriously, I'm lucky.

So, Tuesday's themes for NaBloPoMo is About Me posts. Yeah, I know, kind of self-centered, but I'll be using this time to go into a deep discussion about something that deeply effect my life. Today, it's my role as a caregiver and my experiences caring for Kelly.

I linked to Kelly's post yesterday, but I thought I'd provide a link once again, since this is what sparked the whole post.

( As I mentioned yesterday, while Kelly finds relief in 'Her Diamonds', I hate it )

Just remember, sometimes, that the chronically ill and pained are not completely alone in their suffering. Please.

If anyone reads all of this, let me know-- I thank you deeply. It means the world to me that you did.

I'm ripping off Kelly and doing themed days each week-- Sundays are poll/discussion days and Mondays are picspam days. And so, this Monday I bring a cool (if unusual) topic. Strange cloud formations. Now there's a chance some of these are photoshopped, but even then, I don't care.. They're just that awesome.

( Bonus nerd points if you can classify each type of cloud )

So dinner with Kelly's family was odd last night. Halfway through her father said, "This is great, we should do this every Sunday. Have a Sunday dinner." Then, as we left, he called out, "It's great having you over! You know, to hang out, not just for chores! See you!" Wtf.

I woke up at nine this morning, rolled over to look at Kelly, and said, "You know what's funny?" "What?" "I'm still drunk." Then we got in the car and went grocery shopping with her parents.

Between that and the thing with the kids last night, my life is turning into TextsFromLastNight. And I like it.

We have so much candy left over. Not that it's a bad thing, but it's depressing that the tradition seems to be dying. So with that, I bring a poll.

Poll #1479500
Open to: All, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 25

Did you have any trick-or-treaters last night?

I forgot about NaBlo entirely. I need to think up an idea, but I will be doing it, don't worry. Any suggestions for a theme?